Happy New Year to you and yours from me on this bright New Years Day. We all stop to reflect on this day to remember what was and what may come. Reading on social media how some were grateful that 2015 was finally over, how trying, and stressful the year was, it made me stop to contemplate about perspective.
Perspective:
per·spec·tive
- pərˈspektiv/noun
- 1.the art of drawing solid objects on a two-dimensional surface so as to give the right impression of their height, width, depth, and position in relation to each other when viewed from a particular point."a perspective drawing"
- 2.a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view."most guidebook history is written from the editor's perspective"
synonyms: outlook, view, viewpoint, point of view, POV, standpoint, position,stand, stance, angle, slant, attitude, frame of mind, frame of reference, approach, way of looking, interpretation "her perspective on things had changed"
We could all be in the same room, view the same thing, yet how we perceive the situation will be completely different. This is life. Our emotions and views will encapsulate what you observe and store it in your collective memory. That memory can potentially impact you so deeply, it may even define you for years to come.
However, what you perceive and what is the reality can differ greatly. Take the memory of my mother as a child:
She believed her mother abandoned her, that she was unwanted, unloved.
Talking with my mother and this situation, I asked her to look at my grandmothers life at that time. She was a divorced 24-year-old woman with 3 children under the age of 5, with no financial support from her ex-husband. She made the decision to leave my mother with a friend until she could get on her feet and eventually send for her.
Additionally, her mother was from a time and generation where expressing love wasn't in their nature. Compound that with her life, I imagine she was doing what she thought was best at that time, and perhaps distant to her children, as she wasn't given the skills to express her love. I can only speculate. However, I'm sure couldn't conceive the ramifications on her little girl.
I can only hope with this discussion with my mom, that maybe helping her to see the reality of the situation will help heal her.
Life and relationships are very complicated because of perspective. The veil between reality and perception become blurred. We perceive people are happy when we see smiling photos on social media. But in reality, most times the person is struggling internally--job, love, children, bills, parents, health, life.
While we have our perceptions, others will perceive your experiences differently. My dear and close friend has been battling a tumor. Yes, her reality has been hell. Operations, radiation, side-effects from both the tumor and her therapies have been her reality. Yet, I see a beautiful, vibrant, quick-witted woman that has a strong support system. I see the advantage of our excellent health system that is giving her the best chance at survival. But she'd probably give me the bird at my perspective.
Our perception of our stress-filled lives can very easily be a cake walk to someone else. Take the time to talk out what you may be feeling and experiencing. Work out your emotions and take control of your life. We are given one chance to smile, to laugh, to be happy.
My plan for 2016 is to continue to work through my perspectives, learn, heal, and grow. I hope for the same for each and every one of you. Many blessings to you all for a healthy, and happy new year.
