Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noël, Frohe Weihnachten. However you may say it,and however you celebrate, I'm wishing you all a very wonderful day. A day to spend with your loved ones, to reflect on the year that's been, and to enjoy each others company.

Each Christmas seems to be different for me. I don't always have the greatest memory, but there are definitely gifts, events, and so forth that stand out in the rusty annals of my mind. I remember a gift my friend Sandy Smith sent me the first year I lived in Germany. She sent a nightshirt and the largest gobstopper I had ever seen. It was either that year, or the following that my brother Greg gave me my pierrot clown blanket, fondly known now as the clown blanket. Yes, I still have that, and it is still in amazingly great shape!

A couple years later, when Bryan and I started dating, he gave me one of the best gifts ever. A kitty. Tragically, kitty upset the bird in it's cage, dad got mad at my cat, and well.... So, that turned into a disaster. But, for Bryan to give me a cat, it still means something to me, to this day.

The next Christmas that really stands out, is when I was seven months pregnant with Andrew. Bryan was home from his Air Force training for a few days. The poor guys luggage got lost courtesy of Delta airlines. He had no clothes to wear for a few days. He had to wear my sweatpants, which were about five sizes too short for him, and a crummy old t-shirt of his. God, we were so young then, really we were just a couple of kids. But so hopeful for our future, and the upcoming birth of our son.

A few years later, we added to the brood. Courtney, our little squirrel girl, with her squeaky little voice, exclaiming, "This is what I've always wanted!" While opening one of her presents. Honestly, I don't remember what it was. But her sweet little voice filled with delight has burned into my memory forever.

Sweet Gavin, on the cusp of growing up. He still believes in Santa, while many of his friends no longer believe. I don't mind holding onto the pretense, holding onto our little boy that much longer. Because, much too soon, this will be just another memory.

Christmas for me has been a little harder the past two years, as my dad passed away so close to the holiday. I try to feel festive, but always seem to come up short. I am certain it's this way for those that have lost a loved one near a holiday. After all, isn't the holidays a time for surrounding yourself with the ones you love? When one is no longer with us, it makes it just a little lonelier.

So, remember the good times, surround yourselves with the ones you love, and those that truly love you. It is a time for forgiveness, a time for hope, and a time to reach out to those less fortunate. Faith, hope, charity, and most of all to believe. Believe in the goodness in yourself, and in others.

My Christmas wish to you is to have a wonderful day, with good will towards all.

May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace,
The gladness of Christmas give you hope,
The warmth of Christmas grant you love.
~Author Unknown

2 Years

December 7th will forever be etched in our family's history. This is the day, we normally would remember and honor those that lost their lives, or survived the attack on Pearl Harbor. But this day has become another day of remembrance.

Our dad, passed away two years ago. It doesn't seem possible that 2 years have passed. Time has eased the sadness in my soul, but I still miss him everyday. Everyday is one day further away from him, his memories slipping into the misty recesses of my mind.

I think to what has happened in the two years since he's died. The events from far and near, the good and bad. Still wanting to pick up the phone and say, "Did you see the news?" Or just to say hello.

No, the man wasn't a saint, but we are only human and stumble along the way. Time does heal those old wounds, and looking back, I realize there is so much I didn't even know about him. The places he'd seen, and the things he experienced.

He left us too soon, too sudden, and I feel robbed because of it. But time marches on, and the memories that linger become bittersweet. Tearing up while remembering a funny memory is commonplace now.

One way I honored him, was to take a part of him to my infant brothers gravesite, and place him with his son. It was something I needed to do, compelled to do. Dad already told me he's been sailing since he passed. Whether you believe in visitors from the other side or not, I do believe he came to me in a dream. He let me know that he was alright, and in his most perfect place.

We love you dad, and miss you. May we meet again.

The other morning there was a terrible accident on the highway not too far from our house. The first thing I wondered: Did we know the people involved? Hearing the news helicopters hovering overhead in the early morning hours, led me to continually watch the news. One southbound vehicle crossed over the highway and careened into two northbound vehicles. It was reported later that the driver was avoiding a deer. Unfortunately she--the driver, and one of her daughters died in that accident. She also had her other two girls in the vehicle. One daughter sustained many injuries, and the other only had burns from the seat belt. The drivers of the other two vehicles had injuries, but none life threatening.

Come to find out, the family was a neighbor of my massage therapist. I ran into her at the movie theater yesterday. I inquired how things were going, and the news broke my heart. The girls will now go live with their dad--the parents had been divorced. There is at least that much good news in this tragedy, in that they won't have to go to foster care. She proceeded to tell me about the injuries the little girl received. Multiple injuries, that also requires reconstruction to her face. It dawned on me, you rarely hear the aftermath of these horrific accidents on the news. How drastically the lives are changed, the months, or even years of rehab. The countless surgeries accident victims face. Plus I can't imagine the internal scars these two young girls will carry with them over the course of their life.

I pray these girls will recover, and be able to live long, happy lives. We've only had a glimpse into their lives, and may never know how things turn out for them.

Veteran's Day

This is a thanks to the many veteran's in our family: My father, grandfather, father-in-law, brother, 2 brothers-in-law, and my husband.

Growing up in a military family gives you a different perspective on the world. We were privileged to travel to distant lands, experience a lifestyle that people only dream of (with the opportunity to immerse ourselves in foreign cultures), etc. Were we rich? No, the government doesn't pay their soldiers nearly enough! But that didn't stop our families from doing things.

Even as a military brat, I forgot the sacrifices our fathers and mothers made in their duty to our country. I never thought much that my dad was a Vietnam vet, because it was part of his job. It didn't sink in to how much he must have seen on his 3 tours while he was over there, and all the sites he had seen while he had traveled to multiple places across this globe. Over the years I know how much he missed with us kids because he was away on TDY's, and I would be angry that he missed this or that. But I was being a kid, and didn't appreciate how he must have felt.

I didn't appreciate the sacrifice he made every day for almost 30 years of rising every morning to get up and do his job.

So, thank you, soldiers near and far for rising every morning to do your job. Thank you to the soldiers of the past, present, and future who chose to serve their country, and those that have sacrificed ultimately for us. We appreciate all that you do.

Oops!

It doesn't seem possible that it's been over a month since my last post. Schoolwork, and all the daily trappings have kept me away from this page. *sigh* Although not all of it has been work that's been keeping me occupied.


One of my classes has finished for the semester. Yay! That much closer to completing the certificate requirements, and that much closer, hopefully, to employment. It is definitely time to rejoin the workforce. I am keeping my fingers crossed that I will find a job quickly. I worry that since I have been unemployed for a while, that employers will find me unemployable. Lack of self-confidence tends to eat at my brain.

Halloween is right around the corner, and I'm far from prepared. Pumpkins haven't been carved, decorations are still in boxes in the basement, and the candy hasn't been purchased. Our youngest son has bugged me since we got the pumpkins over a week ago to carve the things. He also informed me he wants to be an "Angry Bird" for Halloween. No such luck. Bad idea to wait one week before Halloween to think I could purchase one of those costumes. It's the hot costume this year, and unless we wanna shell out $90 for a $40 costume, it's not gonna happen. Unfortunately, he doesn't have back-up plan, so unless he can decide something quickly, he will go as a ninja for the fourth year in a row. I doubt I could convince him to dress up as a steam punk. I want to dress as one!

It's a short entry this time, but homework awaits me! Happy Halloween, and maybe I'll have the decorations out in time for Thanksgiving!

Life's not necessarily a bitch...

Why do we say, "Life's a bitch and then you die." Of course life is hard, but it's those hard lessons that shows you what you can and cannot do. What you must do. What makes you who you are.

We've all had hard lessons in life; I'm certainly not immune. You can handle those tough times with grace and dignity, or go bat-shit crazy. I've done both. You have to learn to forgive those that have wronged you, learn to forgive yourself, and learn to move beyond the pain.

I've always wanted to believe the best in people, and still do to this day; even when I've seen the worst.

I don't want to walk around saying, "life's a bitch." Life is what you make of it. Our basic needs are being met--food, shelter, clothing. That in of itself makes life 100% better. I think of the people throughout the world that struggle day-to-day without even those needs, and it makes you pause and thank the person, be it you or a spouse that thankfully has a job to provide for you (or for yourself).

Beyond the necessities, it's just icing on the cake. We are blessed in that way, and I try not to take those for granted.

This isn't to say I am comparing my complaints to what others have gone through. I can't imagine those that have endured horrors beyond my imagination. I can't wrap my brain around how someone can pull themselves from the depths of hell and move on. But that just shows me, that if they can, I can too.

Life is fleeting, and we are here but only for a moment. While I am here, I want to embrace all the beauty in the world. The touch of a lover, the laughter of a child, the whisper of the butterfly gracing your ear. The colors, sounds, and sights that the world offers; I want to see it all. Feel it all. Do as much as I can, while I breathe.

Life is what you make of it, and I'm trying to make the best of it.

No!

Earlier this year we dealt with a mice infestation. Over the course of a few weeks, this was our constant nightmare. I have to say, I really don't want to go through that again.

Picture this: It was during the night, I was sitting on the toilet minding my own business, when the cat came running into the bathroom chasing a mouse. I scream like a banshee for my husband to capture it. Although I think he feels the same way that I do about mice in the house. Then there was a couple of instances when I walked into our bedroom, and there laying on the floor was a dead mouse.

There were a couple times of being woken up in the middle of the night to our gray kitty chasing a mouse. The squeaking, chipping sound of that darned thing running from the cat made me want to crawl out of my skin. The cat was dodging and dashing in hot pursuit, as I sat paralyzed on the bed. The cat would get it cornered in the bathroom, usually near the cabinet, and somehow the sneaky little rodent would find a small crawl space to hide in. All the while the cat would lie in wait right next to the cabinet.

I think the icing on the cake was the night when the cat brought up 3 or 4 babies in one night. He hit the mother lode in the basement! I about came unglued that night. The following day I called the exterminators to take care of this problem. They came out, gave suggestions, laid out bait, etc.

Things have gone seemingly well since then. Although, we just finished up the summer months, so there's no need for those little pests to be in our house. Well, today I've sat around bundled up, as the weather has turned chilly. I walk into the kitchen and can you guess what I saw? Not a big stretch, considering what this blog is about. You got it! A dead baby mouse on the kitchen floor. Yeesh! Calls will be made to the exterminator on Monday morning. There must be a nest in the basement, because one of the cats had been in the basement earlier.

I'm so conditioned that when I hear the cat running around at night, I assume he is chasing a mouse around. I find myself rooting hard for Tom when he is chasing Jerry around in that cartoon. I will become the poster child of Decon and mousetraps, if it means to be rid of these pests once and for all. Just please, no more mice in our house!

I will say, our kitty Stinkey has earned a lot of brownie points this year. I think he has about 10 kills under his belt for the year. Now if we can get the other cat to tag team him, we just might be mouse free!

Realizations and 9/11/2001

The other day our daughter and I were reflecting on that fateful day ten years ago. Where we were, what we were doing, e.g. on that day. Even though she was only 6-years-old, she can vividly recall that day. She asked why. Why do we recall the horrific, and can't always seem to remember the sweet, fun times. I told her, this was our JFK, MLK Jr assassination, Pearl Harbor, etc. We are now part of a collective pot of our nation's history. We will always remember, as we should.

As we talked more, I began to realize something. Our youngest son, with whom I was pregnant with at the time, doesn't know anything different. He has only known our world post-9/11. I wanted to weep for our son. It doesn't seem right, and it is definitely cruel that he has never known America when it wasn't in a war. Yet, even with him exposed to the changed world from that day, he still hasn't grasped the magnitude of that day. I had to explain again what happened, why it happened, and the impact on our world. I'm not sure if it he understands that it wasn't always like this. Recently, our oldest flew back to Boulder, and we completely forgot the TSA rules. He had to throw out all his bottles of shampoo and soap. I had already left, and he couldn't hand them to me. I still forget we have all those rules now. So how could a 9-year-old wrap his head around it.

It just made me take pause to realize that he didn't know anything pre-9/11. I pray someday, the wars will end, but I can't see an end. I pray our children will never have to live another day like that day.

The Gods are Effing With Me!

I need to go back to bed! Seriously, we all have "those mornings" when as soon as your feet hit the floor everything is effed up to the nth degree. This would be one of those mornings.

Mine actually started about 4:15. Woke up from an odd dream. I was looking over an autopsy report of my dad's and there was a compound on the report that stood out. I don't know, sometimes I think he visits me in my dreams. But dad didn't have an autopsy done, we know what killed him. So, this a.m. I googled succinate, and it's actually a compound in high blood pressure medicine. Honestly, I don't even know if he was taking blood pressure med. I know his mom used to, but I don't know if dad did. Needless to say, when I dream of dad, it's hard for me to get back to sleep. But, I finally did after about an hour of tossing around. Oh and hubby informed me succinate is in many drugs, maybe a preservative. Weird.

6:45 a.m. I wake and it's too quiet. Our daughter is normally awake by 6:20 now that school has resumed. I knew she wasn't awake as soon as I came out of the bedroom. Her light was off, and the house just had that feel that everyone was still asleep. Opened the door to let her know she had overslept. Out she flies from her bed, and I hurry downstairs to make coffee.

Open my e-mail to check it, and there is one from one of the book renters I rented a book from. Long story short, I thought I received an incorrect book from them, shipped it back, and they let me know that wasn't the book they shipped to me. I have no clue where this other mystery book came from. I double checked the book they did ship me, I still have it, and do need it for class. So they will be shipping the wrong book back to me. I still have no clue where it came from!

Looking over a bill I had paid off on Wednesday and I realized that the most recent statement I received from them didn't reflect the most recent payment that we sent in. Needless to say, I sent in way too much money to them. Will have to wait until they process payment and send the residual amount back to us. I just hate when that happens, as it seems to take longer to get money back from places.

I knew we had thunderstorms roll through last night, and even heard them a little. Normally if it's a bad storm, I try to be more aware of the weather and the effects we can feel since we live in the Midwest. Not last night! Slept through it, but apparently kids heard them. And apparently they were bad! Like our youngest was super scared, and our oldest son said the thunder sounded like it was right overhead. Nope slept through the entire event. Thankfully we didn't have the wind damage like other areas of the city received.

Needless to say, for a Friday, it sure feels like a Monday to me! I need to go back to bed and start this day over.

Sorrow and Pride

I wish I had my camera today, and I wish I wasn't rushing to an appointment. I would have stopped and paid tribute to a young man who died in a foreign land. US Army Spc. Spencer Duncan was one of the many that died when the Chinook helicopter was downed recently in Afghanistan.

This is the closest I've been to witnessing a hero's homecoming.

As I was driving along 151st street in Olathe, I noticed hundreds of American flags were placed along each side of the road, and people were beginning to gather to pay tribute to this young man as he was transported from a local airport to a funeral home.

The emotion that welled up in me was sorrow. I wanted to feel proud that people came out to greet him, but the sorrow was too overwhelming. I think it's because his age hits too close to home. Our son is 20, that could be our son. The young man is someone's son.

I understand we have a mission over there. I get that. But for how much longer? This region of the world has never wavered or backed down. Look how long they held the Russians back, and the Russians finally admitted failure and left. It is hard to beat a regime that has their tendrils reaching worldwide. When will we realize that? How many sons, fathers, and brothers have to be lost? How many more hero's homecomings do we have to witness?

So, on my way home, I quickly snapped with my cellphone this flag that was still there. After the crowds left, it still stood. Passing in the other direction was a motorcyclist that was carrying an American flag. I imagine he was part of the procession to the funeral home, but was heading elsewhere. Somewhere in the sadness, I too felt proud. Fleeting as it was, it was nice to know that hundreds had gathered to pay tribute to a life that was lost too soon.

In the World of Should, Could, & Would

Those three words are probably my biggest annoyance. Here's a piece that's been running through my mind for days, it doesn't come from anywhere in particular, or anyone. However, it can be applied to so many things that happen in our lives.

How could you? Why would I? You should have. If you would have. I could have. Why should I? How could I? Why should you? I should have. You could have.

Those three words usually come about after the fact. When its easy to place the blame, placate our guilt, or regret things you should, could, or would have done. It may be pride, anger, pain, or other things that are holding you in the pattern of those three words. I'm not immune to them, and being a creature of habit, it's hard to change.

Life is too short to let those words rule your life. Reach out to those you should have, where you could have, and perhaps they would do the same. Quit making excuses, and get out there and do it. Change those three words to: shall, can, and will. Be it interpersonal relationships, your home, or yourself, change those words. You just might change yourself.

Book Review: Retribution by Sherrilyn Kenyon

Ok so I have this wee obsession with all-things Sherrilyn Kenyon. A friend of mine suggested I, "check out her Dark-Hunter series." I am always on the look-out for a new series to read. Added bonus, these are paranormal, so I was certainly willing to check out the books. That was March 2010. By May 2010 I had read 13 of her books. Yes 13 books in 2 months. Crack! Crack I say! To feed my addiction, she and Dianna Love, whom she's co-authored now 2 other series with, came to town. We had the opportunity to go up and meet these two lovely ladies, and not only are they down-home, they actually took their time with us crazy fans. Since then, I've amassed quite the collection of Sherrilyn's books, and eagerly await each new book when it hits the shelves.

Since this is my first review and if you aren't familiar with the Dark-Hunter series, you may ask,"What is a Dark-Hunter?". The Greek God Apollo decided around eleven thousand of years ago he could one-up Zeus by creating his own race of people that would be better than humans, thus the Apollites were created. The Apollites queen, who used to be Apollo's lover, became jealous when Apollo took a human lover and the human gave birth to a son. The Apollite queen sent her guards to murder Apollo's lover and son. Apollo, in a rage, cursed his own people to die slowly and painfully at the age of 27; the same age as his mistress. In steps the last remaining Goddess of the Atlantean pantheon, Apollymi, who shows the Apollites how to elongate there lives by consuming human souls. As long as that soul lives, the Apollites continue to live, but turn into Daimons. They have to continually take in souls to live. Artemis creates warriors, called the Dark-Hunters to kill the Daimons and free the human souls. These people have usually been wronged by someone in their lives, and scream out for vengeance as they lay dying. Artemis hears those screams and visits the person, offers them the chance to seek vengeance for their death and to join her race of warriors called the Dark-Hunters. Since they take on the characteristics of the Daimons, Artemis figured if they were like the Daimons, it would be easier to hunt them. The Daimons can't go out in sunlight, have fangs to consume the soul--although Dark-Hunters don't do that--but do get the teeth, and supernatural powers.

Now back to Retribution. It came out August 2nd. I picked it up at the book store August 3rd, and finished it the next evening. Yes, these books are that good. 432 pages of another great story in the long line of her Dark-Hunter series. One thing that I really liked is that she has visited yet another pantheon. She originally started with the Greek Pantheon, but has also included Atlantean, and Sumerian Pantheons. She now has stepped into the world of Native American lore. Yeah!

With Sherrilyn's series, her characters overlap in her books. William Jessup Brady, aka "Sundown," was introduced very early on in the Dark-Hunter series (book 3 to be exact), but hadn't been in other books. Luckily he got his own! If I've counted right, Sundown's book is number 19.

Sundown is relocated to Las Vegas after having lived in Reno for many years, and runs into an issue with a human running with Apollites that are killing other Dark-Hunters. He soon realizes that Abigail is the little girl he once knew that is grown up and gunning for him. "Orphaned as a toddler, Abigail Yager was taken in by a family of Apollites and raised on one belief: Dark-Hunters are the evil who prey on both Apollites and mankind. They must all be destroyed. While protecting her adoptive race, she has spent her life eliminating the Dark-Hunters and training for the day when she meets the man who killed her family… Jess Brady." Because of her actions, she almost creates an Apocalypse. With the help of Sundown, another Dark-Hunter--who is first introduced in this book--named Ren (I know you will see him again!) and a few other characters, they have to try to avert the end of the world.

The dialog as usual is quick-witted, humorous, and page turning. I know this is book 19(ish), and I recommend you start all the way at book one. This way you know the entire story. Especially since at the end of Retribution is a bonus scene that you have to know who the people are in order to appreciate it!

Growing Up and Moving On

Life is such a mysterious thing. You never know what twists and turns will be thrown at you at a moments notice. You can akin it to a roller coaster, I sometimes like to compare it to a tornado. To say I've had my ups and downs, twists and turns, is an understatement. However, when our oldest son informed me he had decided to move out of the home, and move to Boulder, Colorado; I wasn't thrown for a loop like I thought I would feel. At some point, as a parent, you know your child will move away. I think it's surprised me more that it's happening so fast. It really has been less than a month since his decision has been made. Tomorrow he will be loading up his belongings onto the truck, and heading out there to get settled, apply for jobs, and come home to wrap up some personal things. He plans to start back with college once he establishes residency. If you know us, you know this is a huge deal. Our oldest hasn't always been the most motivated, and I do feel this is the best thing he can do for himself. I can feel the excitement in him; see confidence in him that I've never seen before. I think it's been easier on me, for the simple fact that he is moving there with one of his best friends. They've been like brothers since the 3rd grade, through some tough situations, and have been there for each other through it all. It will be a good change for our son, and a chance for him to grown and learn on his own.

Today, I helped him take apart his bed. He's waiting for his friend to arrive with the moving truck, so he can load his belongs onto it. I promised myself I wasn't going to cry while only packing his belongings. Yet my heart had other plans, and I couldn't stop from shedding some tears. You can't help but to flash back to the moment you laid eyes on your child, and think, "where did the years go?" The late night feedings, the first day of school, the numerous games you sat through--even when the sun was blazing hot, the ups and the downs that have been thrown our way. Even through all the good and the bad, as a parent you know that your love never wavers for your child. I know.... blah blah, roots & wings. But it still hurts to see them leave. They are opening a new chapter on their life, as you are closing a chapter in your life.

I think today has been a bit of a melancholy day for me. Today's my mom's birthday, which means she's another year older. I've also been dealing with the emotions of our son moving out, and I'm missing my dad today. I know when other things are happening in my life, it's usually when I miss my dad the most, because I know I can't call him. I don't know if that feeling will ever change. :(

Ask me later how I feel, when it is time for him to walk out the door for the final time. But for now, I am proud of his decision and wish him the best of luck. As for any advice I can give him: strap in, buckle up, and hold on tight. It's going to get bumpy along the way, and I'll do the same.

Back to School = Where'd the money go??

I love the idea of back to school. Back to a routine, back to normal, and not having to hear on a daily basis, "What are we gonna do today?" But there are many things I dislike about this time of year.

First off, I know I shouldn't complain about the public education system where our kids attend school, as it is one of the top school districts in the nation. But, our pocketbook sure screams at the top of its lungs in protest. Really? Daughters registration today was more than our first car--well, almost. Her registration totaled $396, granted that included a yearbook and PSAT payment, alongside the rest of the required fees. Did I mention our first car cost $500? Youngest sons fees were $167. I'm glad we only have two kids in school. It really hurt when all three kids were in school.

Second, it's time to hit the back-to-school sales. Call me cheap, but if any school supplies can be salvaged from the previous year, it gets reused. What doesn't get reused seems to end up in our cabinet of art supplies. If I was really smart, I would pick through all those items, and could probably supply our entire block's back-to-school supplies. Maybe that's what I should do... Sell our own stuff at dirt rate prices, and make a little money in the process!

Third, back-to-school sales. They lure you into their stores with the advertisements in the Sunday paper. After all, you don't want your kid to look like a schlump on the first day of school. Buy their clothes, and your kids will look like they should be modeling for Gap Kids. In reality, youngest wakes up with his hair going every which way, and no matter how much water and goop I put on his hair, that last piece is determined to stick out the entire day. Back to those advertisements, those kids are in jeans. Our kids go back to school when it's still 100 degrees outside. I have to hold off on jean buying until the last possible minute. Son always manages to wear out the knees, or has a growth spurt. So, generally I avoid purchasing many clothes for back to school.

In addition to all their school expenses, I too will go back to school. This will be my second year back. I'm grateful hubby makes a decent living, but with that, I can't qualify for any help with school. Everything is out of pocket. I just hope, once my schooling is done, I'll be able to find a job!

So, faster than Lestat can drain a human, back-to-school has drained our pocketbook.

No Rain

Since it's been so damn dry, I'm going to shoot for a little reverse psychology. Not to mention this song is probably my favorite from the Rio album. 

Random Night Noises

Well, here's my first blog post. I figured it would have been something earth-moving, fireworks, or make people stop and ponder life. Nope, thanks to sleep deprivation here's my first post. Don't you love waking up in the middle of the night from a sound sleep to an odd noise? I did just that last night, well early this morning about 2 a.m. to be exact. I think what actually woke me up was the vibrations I was feeling, and no nothing kinky was going on. Roused from my slumber, I get out of bed, turn on the bathroom light and try to pinpoint the source of the sound. The dim light from the bathroom didn't shed any light on the situation. I turn on the bedroom light, staring up at the ceiling. I know it had to look very Carol Anne from Poltergeist, me in my pajamas, light on at 2 a.m., staring at the ceiling. I go to wake my daughter, only to discover she's not in her bed. Now my mind is like a lioness, ready, alert, and will do anything to protect her family. I run down stairs to a semidark home. Youngest son insisted on sleeping on the air mattress in the living room, so he's asleep, but a light is on in the kitchen. I check the garage, my car is still there. Where the hell is the daughter? I shoot her off a text, and wake up son number one to see if he knows where his sister is. Nope. Ah! Panic is really setting in by now. But wait, what did I wake up for in the first place? Oh yeah, the noise. Ask the oldest if he would come into the bedroom to see if he can hear anything or is it my imagination. Thankfully, it's not in my mind. He too can hear the noise. Phone buzzes, daughter texts to let me know she had to go solve the worlds problems of her bff. Grrr, next time let me know when you leave the house. For all I knew, aliens had abducted her. Chatted with her by text, giving her some advice to pass along to her bff. All the while trying to figure out what that damn noise was. Squirrels in the attic? Roof on the verge of collapse? Zombies out there with their long fingernails scratching at the roof, trying to make their way in? Wait! I make my way back down the stairs, the ceiling fan in the living room is on. Could it be? Could this be the source of my late-night arousal? I flick the switch, creep back up the stairs, and crawl back in bed. Listening. Silence. Success! I flip through the channels to find something boring to lull me back to sleep. What do I tune it to? Billy the Exterminator battling millions of cockroaches! Ew, but what the heck. Daughter hitches a ride home, gives me the low down, slinks off to bed. Oh what a night!