Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noël, Frohe Weihnachten. However you may say it,and however you celebrate, I'm wishing you all a very wonderful day. A day to spend with your loved ones, to reflect on the year that's been, and to enjoy each others company.

Each Christmas seems to be different for me. I don't always have the greatest memory, but there are definitely gifts, events, and so forth that stand out in the rusty annals of my mind. I remember a gift my friend Sandy Smith sent me the first year I lived in Germany. She sent a nightshirt and the largest gobstopper I had ever seen. It was either that year, or the following that my brother Greg gave me my pierrot clown blanket, fondly known now as the clown blanket. Yes, I still have that, and it is still in amazingly great shape!

A couple years later, when Bryan and I started dating, he gave me one of the best gifts ever. A kitty. Tragically, kitty upset the bird in it's cage, dad got mad at my cat, and well.... So, that turned into a disaster. But, for Bryan to give me a cat, it still means something to me, to this day.

The next Christmas that really stands out, is when I was seven months pregnant with Andrew. Bryan was home from his Air Force training for a few days. The poor guys luggage got lost courtesy of Delta airlines. He had no clothes to wear for a few days. He had to wear my sweatpants, which were about five sizes too short for him, and a crummy old t-shirt of his. God, we were so young then, really we were just a couple of kids. But so hopeful for our future, and the upcoming birth of our son.

A few years later, we added to the brood. Courtney, our little squirrel girl, with her squeaky little voice, exclaiming, "This is what I've always wanted!" While opening one of her presents. Honestly, I don't remember what it was. But her sweet little voice filled with delight has burned into my memory forever.

Sweet Gavin, on the cusp of growing up. He still believes in Santa, while many of his friends no longer believe. I don't mind holding onto the pretense, holding onto our little boy that much longer. Because, much too soon, this will be just another memory.

Christmas for me has been a little harder the past two years, as my dad passed away so close to the holiday. I try to feel festive, but always seem to come up short. I am certain it's this way for those that have lost a loved one near a holiday. After all, isn't the holidays a time for surrounding yourself with the ones you love? When one is no longer with us, it makes it just a little lonelier.

So, remember the good times, surround yourselves with the ones you love, and those that truly love you. It is a time for forgiveness, a time for hope, and a time to reach out to those less fortunate. Faith, hope, charity, and most of all to believe. Believe in the goodness in yourself, and in others.

My Christmas wish to you is to have a wonderful day, with good will towards all.

May the spirit of Christmas bring you peace,
The gladness of Christmas give you hope,
The warmth of Christmas grant you love.
~Author Unknown

2 Years

December 7th will forever be etched in our family's history. This is the day, we normally would remember and honor those that lost their lives, or survived the attack on Pearl Harbor. But this day has become another day of remembrance.

Our dad, passed away two years ago. It doesn't seem possible that 2 years have passed. Time has eased the sadness in my soul, but I still miss him everyday. Everyday is one day further away from him, his memories slipping into the misty recesses of my mind.

I think to what has happened in the two years since he's died. The events from far and near, the good and bad. Still wanting to pick up the phone and say, "Did you see the news?" Or just to say hello.

No, the man wasn't a saint, but we are only human and stumble along the way. Time does heal those old wounds, and looking back, I realize there is so much I didn't even know about him. The places he'd seen, and the things he experienced.

He left us too soon, too sudden, and I feel robbed because of it. But time marches on, and the memories that linger become bittersweet. Tearing up while remembering a funny memory is commonplace now.

One way I honored him, was to take a part of him to my infant brothers gravesite, and place him with his son. It was something I needed to do, compelled to do. Dad already told me he's been sailing since he passed. Whether you believe in visitors from the other side or not, I do believe he came to me in a dream. He let me know that he was alright, and in his most perfect place.

We love you dad, and miss you. May we meet again.