My date this week

It was that time of year again; that time of year to have my date with the mammography equipment at the Goppert Center for Breast Care. Everyone is so pleasant as you walk in, but if you look hard enough, you can see the demon faces hiding behind the masks of pleasantries. Sitting in the waiting room at least there was no one else to spend awkward moments while waiting to enter the torture chamber. Casually I flip through a magazine, biding my time until one of the she-devils calls my name. Sweetly she lures me from the safety of a well-lit room. Crossing the threshold, and quickly I find myself lured into a quiescent holding area. Somewhere in the distance I swear I can hear the screaming of the lost souls, but the tranquility of the dimly lit chamber lulls me into subservient bliss. I'm ordered to remove my top and bra. "Slip on the gown," she whispers, "and have a seat. It won't be long." Slipping my bra off, I try to think why I am exposing myself. Sliding on the lovely pink gown, buttoning up the front, as the cool cloth rubs my skin, is yet another calming act. Perhaps this won't be too bad. It is a lovely top, and a lovely place, I convince myself it will be alright. "Follow me, and this will be done as quickly as possible." Slowly I approach the beast, staring in abject horror, yet unable to look away at the mouth of the beast. I know I am being served up as a sacrifice, and yet there is no escape. I am locked in the room. Tattooed on its skin is her name. "Selenia." The script is lovely, almost comforting, persuading me that she is a harmless being. Dropping my gown, exposing myself to her vise-grip mouth, I am pushed, prodded, and told to contort myself to fit in her mouth. Slowly the she-devil coaxes Selenia's mouth to close tighter and tighter. Strangely, the pain isn't too bad, and I find myself managing the beast. "Hold your breath, don't move, you are almost done." The she-devil convinces me I will survive this torture. I somehow believe her. She is right, and soon informs me that I am done. I am instructed to dress and to have a great day. A great day? After what I just went through? As I was exiting the chambers of hell, the sweet-faced demon shouts out, "See you next year."

I will see you again next year "Selenia," and will be prepared for another walk in your chamber of horrors.