Growing Up and Moving On

Life is such a mysterious thing. You never know what twists and turns will be thrown at you at a moments notice. You can akin it to a roller coaster, I sometimes like to compare it to a tornado. To say I've had my ups and downs, twists and turns, is an understatement. However, when our oldest son informed me he had decided to move out of the home, and move to Boulder, Colorado; I wasn't thrown for a loop like I thought I would feel. At some point, as a parent, you know your child will move away. I think it's surprised me more that it's happening so fast. It really has been less than a month since his decision has been made. Tomorrow he will be loading up his belongings onto the truck, and heading out there to get settled, apply for jobs, and come home to wrap up some personal things. He plans to start back with college once he establishes residency. If you know us, you know this is a huge deal. Our oldest hasn't always been the most motivated, and I do feel this is the best thing he can do for himself. I can feel the excitement in him; see confidence in him that I've never seen before. I think it's been easier on me, for the simple fact that he is moving there with one of his best friends. They've been like brothers since the 3rd grade, through some tough situations, and have been there for each other through it all. It will be a good change for our son, and a chance for him to grown and learn on his own.

Today, I helped him take apart his bed. He's waiting for his friend to arrive with the moving truck, so he can load his belongs onto it. I promised myself I wasn't going to cry while only packing his belongings. Yet my heart had other plans, and I couldn't stop from shedding some tears. You can't help but to flash back to the moment you laid eyes on your child, and think, "where did the years go?" The late night feedings, the first day of school, the numerous games you sat through--even when the sun was blazing hot, the ups and the downs that have been thrown our way. Even through all the good and the bad, as a parent you know that your love never wavers for your child. I know.... blah blah, roots & wings. But it still hurts to see them leave. They are opening a new chapter on their life, as you are closing a chapter in your life.

I think today has been a bit of a melancholy day for me. Today's my mom's birthday, which means she's another year older. I've also been dealing with the emotions of our son moving out, and I'm missing my dad today. I know when other things are happening in my life, it's usually when I miss my dad the most, because I know I can't call him. I don't know if that feeling will ever change. :(

Ask me later how I feel, when it is time for him to walk out the door for the final time. But for now, I am proud of his decision and wish him the best of luck. As for any advice I can give him: strap in, buckle up, and hold on tight. It's going to get bumpy along the way, and I'll do the same.