Life's not necessarily a bitch...

Why do we say, "Life's a bitch and then you die." Of course life is hard, but it's those hard lessons that shows you what you can and cannot do. What you must do. What makes you who you are.

We've all had hard lessons in life; I'm certainly not immune. You can handle those tough times with grace and dignity, or go bat-shit crazy. I've done both. You have to learn to forgive those that have wronged you, learn to forgive yourself, and learn to move beyond the pain.

I've always wanted to believe the best in people, and still do to this day; even when I've seen the worst.

I don't want to walk around saying, "life's a bitch." Life is what you make of it. Our basic needs are being met--food, shelter, clothing. That in of itself makes life 100% better. I think of the people throughout the world that struggle day-to-day without even those needs, and it makes you pause and thank the person, be it you or a spouse that thankfully has a job to provide for you (or for yourself).

Beyond the necessities, it's just icing on the cake. We are blessed in that way, and I try not to take those for granted.

This isn't to say I am comparing my complaints to what others have gone through. I can't imagine those that have endured horrors beyond my imagination. I can't wrap my brain around how someone can pull themselves from the depths of hell and move on. But that just shows me, that if they can, I can too.

Life is fleeting, and we are here but only for a moment. While I am here, I want to embrace all the beauty in the world. The touch of a lover, the laughter of a child, the whisper of the butterfly gracing your ear. The colors, sounds, and sights that the world offers; I want to see it all. Feel it all. Do as much as I can, while I breathe.

Life is what you make of it, and I'm trying to make the best of it.

No!

Earlier this year we dealt with a mice infestation. Over the course of a few weeks, this was our constant nightmare. I have to say, I really don't want to go through that again.

Picture this: It was during the night, I was sitting on the toilet minding my own business, when the cat came running into the bathroom chasing a mouse. I scream like a banshee for my husband to capture it. Although I think he feels the same way that I do about mice in the house. Then there was a couple of instances when I walked into our bedroom, and there laying on the floor was a dead mouse.

There were a couple times of being woken up in the middle of the night to our gray kitty chasing a mouse. The squeaking, chipping sound of that darned thing running from the cat made me want to crawl out of my skin. The cat was dodging and dashing in hot pursuit, as I sat paralyzed on the bed. The cat would get it cornered in the bathroom, usually near the cabinet, and somehow the sneaky little rodent would find a small crawl space to hide in. All the while the cat would lie in wait right next to the cabinet.

I think the icing on the cake was the night when the cat brought up 3 or 4 babies in one night. He hit the mother lode in the basement! I about came unglued that night. The following day I called the exterminators to take care of this problem. They came out, gave suggestions, laid out bait, etc.

Things have gone seemingly well since then. Although, we just finished up the summer months, so there's no need for those little pests to be in our house. Well, today I've sat around bundled up, as the weather has turned chilly. I walk into the kitchen and can you guess what I saw? Not a big stretch, considering what this blog is about. You got it! A dead baby mouse on the kitchen floor. Yeesh! Calls will be made to the exterminator on Monday morning. There must be a nest in the basement, because one of the cats had been in the basement earlier.

I'm so conditioned that when I hear the cat running around at night, I assume he is chasing a mouse around. I find myself rooting hard for Tom when he is chasing Jerry around in that cartoon. I will become the poster child of Decon and mousetraps, if it means to be rid of these pests once and for all. Just please, no more mice in our house!

I will say, our kitty Stinkey has earned a lot of brownie points this year. I think he has about 10 kills under his belt for the year. Now if we can get the other cat to tag team him, we just might be mouse free!

Realizations and 9/11/2001

The other day our daughter and I were reflecting on that fateful day ten years ago. Where we were, what we were doing, e.g. on that day. Even though she was only 6-years-old, she can vividly recall that day. She asked why. Why do we recall the horrific, and can't always seem to remember the sweet, fun times. I told her, this was our JFK, MLK Jr assassination, Pearl Harbor, etc. We are now part of a collective pot of our nation's history. We will always remember, as we should.

As we talked more, I began to realize something. Our youngest son, with whom I was pregnant with at the time, doesn't know anything different. He has only known our world post-9/11. I wanted to weep for our son. It doesn't seem right, and it is definitely cruel that he has never known America when it wasn't in a war. Yet, even with him exposed to the changed world from that day, he still hasn't grasped the magnitude of that day. I had to explain again what happened, why it happened, and the impact on our world. I'm not sure if it he understands that it wasn't always like this. Recently, our oldest flew back to Boulder, and we completely forgot the TSA rules. He had to throw out all his bottles of shampoo and soap. I had already left, and he couldn't hand them to me. I still forget we have all those rules now. So how could a 9-year-old wrap his head around it.

It just made me take pause to realize that he didn't know anything pre-9/11. I pray someday, the wars will end, but I can't see an end. I pray our children will never have to live another day like that day.

The Gods are Effing With Me!

I need to go back to bed! Seriously, we all have "those mornings" when as soon as your feet hit the floor everything is effed up to the nth degree. This would be one of those mornings.

Mine actually started about 4:15. Woke up from an odd dream. I was looking over an autopsy report of my dad's and there was a compound on the report that stood out. I don't know, sometimes I think he visits me in my dreams. But dad didn't have an autopsy done, we know what killed him. So, this a.m. I googled succinate, and it's actually a compound in high blood pressure medicine. Honestly, I don't even know if he was taking blood pressure med. I know his mom used to, but I don't know if dad did. Needless to say, when I dream of dad, it's hard for me to get back to sleep. But, I finally did after about an hour of tossing around. Oh and hubby informed me succinate is in many drugs, maybe a preservative. Weird.

6:45 a.m. I wake and it's too quiet. Our daughter is normally awake by 6:20 now that school has resumed. I knew she wasn't awake as soon as I came out of the bedroom. Her light was off, and the house just had that feel that everyone was still asleep. Opened the door to let her know she had overslept. Out she flies from her bed, and I hurry downstairs to make coffee.

Open my e-mail to check it, and there is one from one of the book renters I rented a book from. Long story short, I thought I received an incorrect book from them, shipped it back, and they let me know that wasn't the book they shipped to me. I have no clue where this other mystery book came from. I double checked the book they did ship me, I still have it, and do need it for class. So they will be shipping the wrong book back to me. I still have no clue where it came from!

Looking over a bill I had paid off on Wednesday and I realized that the most recent statement I received from them didn't reflect the most recent payment that we sent in. Needless to say, I sent in way too much money to them. Will have to wait until they process payment and send the residual amount back to us. I just hate when that happens, as it seems to take longer to get money back from places.

I knew we had thunderstorms roll through last night, and even heard them a little. Normally if it's a bad storm, I try to be more aware of the weather and the effects we can feel since we live in the Midwest. Not last night! Slept through it, but apparently kids heard them. And apparently they were bad! Like our youngest was super scared, and our oldest son said the thunder sounded like it was right overhead. Nope slept through the entire event. Thankfully we didn't have the wind damage like other areas of the city received.

Needless to say, for a Friday, it sure feels like a Monday to me! I need to go back to bed and start this day over.

Sorrow and Pride

I wish I had my camera today, and I wish I wasn't rushing to an appointment. I would have stopped and paid tribute to a young man who died in a foreign land. US Army Spc. Spencer Duncan was one of the many that died when the Chinook helicopter was downed recently in Afghanistan.

This is the closest I've been to witnessing a hero's homecoming.

As I was driving along 151st street in Olathe, I noticed hundreds of American flags were placed along each side of the road, and people were beginning to gather to pay tribute to this young man as he was transported from a local airport to a funeral home.

The emotion that welled up in me was sorrow. I wanted to feel proud that people came out to greet him, but the sorrow was too overwhelming. I think it's because his age hits too close to home. Our son is 20, that could be our son. The young man is someone's son.

I understand we have a mission over there. I get that. But for how much longer? This region of the world has never wavered or backed down. Look how long they held the Russians back, and the Russians finally admitted failure and left. It is hard to beat a regime that has their tendrils reaching worldwide. When will we realize that? How many sons, fathers, and brothers have to be lost? How many more hero's homecomings do we have to witness?

So, on my way home, I quickly snapped with my cellphone this flag that was still there. After the crowds left, it still stood. Passing in the other direction was a motorcyclist that was carrying an American flag. I imagine he was part of the procession to the funeral home, but was heading elsewhere. Somewhere in the sadness, I too felt proud. Fleeting as it was, it was nice to know that hundreds had gathered to pay tribute to a life that was lost too soon.

In the World of Should, Could, & Would

Those three words are probably my biggest annoyance. Here's a piece that's been running through my mind for days, it doesn't come from anywhere in particular, or anyone. However, it can be applied to so many things that happen in our lives.

How could you? Why would I? You should have. If you would have. I could have. Why should I? How could I? Why should you? I should have. You could have.

Those three words usually come about after the fact. When its easy to place the blame, placate our guilt, or regret things you should, could, or would have done. It may be pride, anger, pain, or other things that are holding you in the pattern of those three words. I'm not immune to them, and being a creature of habit, it's hard to change.

Life is too short to let those words rule your life. Reach out to those you should have, where you could have, and perhaps they would do the same. Quit making excuses, and get out there and do it. Change those three words to: shall, can, and will. Be it interpersonal relationships, your home, or yourself, change those words. You just might change yourself.

Book Review: Retribution by Sherrilyn Kenyon

Ok so I have this wee obsession with all-things Sherrilyn Kenyon. A friend of mine suggested I, "check out her Dark-Hunter series." I am always on the look-out for a new series to read. Added bonus, these are paranormal, so I was certainly willing to check out the books. That was March 2010. By May 2010 I had read 13 of her books. Yes 13 books in 2 months. Crack! Crack I say! To feed my addiction, she and Dianna Love, whom she's co-authored now 2 other series with, came to town. We had the opportunity to go up and meet these two lovely ladies, and not only are they down-home, they actually took their time with us crazy fans. Since then, I've amassed quite the collection of Sherrilyn's books, and eagerly await each new book when it hits the shelves.

Since this is my first review and if you aren't familiar with the Dark-Hunter series, you may ask,"What is a Dark-Hunter?". The Greek God Apollo decided around eleven thousand of years ago he could one-up Zeus by creating his own race of people that would be better than humans, thus the Apollites were created. The Apollites queen, who used to be Apollo's lover, became jealous when Apollo took a human lover and the human gave birth to a son. The Apollite queen sent her guards to murder Apollo's lover and son. Apollo, in a rage, cursed his own people to die slowly and painfully at the age of 27; the same age as his mistress. In steps the last remaining Goddess of the Atlantean pantheon, Apollymi, who shows the Apollites how to elongate there lives by consuming human souls. As long as that soul lives, the Apollites continue to live, but turn into Daimons. They have to continually take in souls to live. Artemis creates warriors, called the Dark-Hunters to kill the Daimons and free the human souls. These people have usually been wronged by someone in their lives, and scream out for vengeance as they lay dying. Artemis hears those screams and visits the person, offers them the chance to seek vengeance for their death and to join her race of warriors called the Dark-Hunters. Since they take on the characteristics of the Daimons, Artemis figured if they were like the Daimons, it would be easier to hunt them. The Daimons can't go out in sunlight, have fangs to consume the soul--although Dark-Hunters don't do that--but do get the teeth, and supernatural powers.

Now back to Retribution. It came out August 2nd. I picked it up at the book store August 3rd, and finished it the next evening. Yes, these books are that good. 432 pages of another great story in the long line of her Dark-Hunter series. One thing that I really liked is that she has visited yet another pantheon. She originally started with the Greek Pantheon, but has also included Atlantean, and Sumerian Pantheons. She now has stepped into the world of Native American lore. Yeah!

With Sherrilyn's series, her characters overlap in her books. William Jessup Brady, aka "Sundown," was introduced very early on in the Dark-Hunter series (book 3 to be exact), but hadn't been in other books. Luckily he got his own! If I've counted right, Sundown's book is number 19.

Sundown is relocated to Las Vegas after having lived in Reno for many years, and runs into an issue with a human running with Apollites that are killing other Dark-Hunters. He soon realizes that Abigail is the little girl he once knew that is grown up and gunning for him. "Orphaned as a toddler, Abigail Yager was taken in by a family of Apollites and raised on one belief: Dark-Hunters are the evil who prey on both Apollites and mankind. They must all be destroyed. While protecting her adoptive race, she has spent her life eliminating the Dark-Hunters and training for the day when she meets the man who killed her family… Jess Brady." Because of her actions, she almost creates an Apocalypse. With the help of Sundown, another Dark-Hunter--who is first introduced in this book--named Ren (I know you will see him again!) and a few other characters, they have to try to avert the end of the world.

The dialog as usual is quick-witted, humorous, and page turning. I know this is book 19(ish), and I recommend you start all the way at book one. This way you know the entire story. Especially since at the end of Retribution is a bonus scene that you have to know who the people are in order to appreciate it!